"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
08/21/2015 at 09:44 • Filed to: Car Buying
2
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"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
08/21/2015 at 09:44 • Filed to: Car Buying | 2
| 10 |
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! on people complaining about trade in offers, tangentially reminded me of the first time I helped a friend buy a car. It was about 15 years ago, as I was wrapping up my freshman year of college. My friend was a Russian graduate student named Steve. Actually, his name was Ivanovich, but I only knew that because that was on his mailbox. He introduced himself as Steve, and that’s what he went by. Steve needed a car to get to his summer internship, and he had a budget of $2000.
Steve had been captivated by american cars. I remember discussing V8’s with him, and I told him about the 500 cuibic inch Cadillac motors. He asked, “How much is that in liters?”
“Eight.”
He actually did a spit take. Pepsi went all over the place. “EIGHT LITERS!!!”
That blew his mind a bit. So when it came time to buy a car, he decided he should treat himself to an american car while he was here. He was bound back for mother Russia at the conclusion of his internship.
Steve was nothing if not careful. He reminded me of my favorite line from the Hunt for the Red October, “Son, the average Ruski doesn’t take a dump without a plan.” He purchased a Carfax unlimited package, and asked me if I would take a look at whatever he was thinking about buying. If I thought it was a good car, he was going to take it to a mechanic for an actual inspection.
You can imagine my surprise when he showed up with a completely beaten and battered late 80’s Ford Festiva for me to check out. It was in similar condition to the one up top, except worse. For starters, it had a huge crack through the middle of the windshield. The Asian grad student who was trying to sell it presented me with a huge stack of repair invoices. Except they weren’t all invoices, several of them were just estimates for work that needed to be done. I called him out on one estimate, which said it needed new rear brakes. He responded, “Well, the rear brakes only do 30% of the braking.”
I just stared at him for a few seconds, “Yes, that means without them, you lose 30% of your braking power.”
How much was he asking for this complete POS fine piece of machinery? The Kelly Blue Book value of $1,700. He insisted it was worth that, because that’s what the internet said after all. I retorted, “This car needs a new windshield, new rear brakes, and, oh yeah, you decided it would be a great idea to paint it with red house paint and a roller.”
Ivan found himself a nice minty clean Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais, which he was quite chuffed with.
Berang
> shop-teacher
08/21/2015 at 09:51 |
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I’ve seen so many people selling parts cars quoting Nada values - completely, blissfully, and probably willfully ignorant of the fact those prices are for vehicles in excellent operable condition.
Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
> shop-teacher
08/21/2015 at 10:02 |
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I have a German friend who moved here for work, the first thing he did when he had enough money is buy an F150, then proudly display both the Deutchland and American Flags on his dash. He loves that truck.
MonkeePuzzle
> shop-teacher
08/21/2015 at 10:11 |
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Festiva. coulda been a neat little car, I dunno, I never drove one. all I know if this... let’s call him generously proportioned, co-worker had one, nearly identical to as pictured in your post. We called it a clown car, becuse the way he would roll out of it everyday it appeared improbable that he had ever fit into it.
Anyhoo, one day it catches fire. The exhaust, likely leaky and broken, had heated up the carpet in the trunk, and the trunk caught fire. So he take it in for repairs. He knows I like cars so he asks “the shop said ~$2k in repairs, whaddya think”
I pull up craigsist “hey, you could buy TWO of them to replace your one, for that money”
he ignores me, he pays the repair, AND he pays out of pocket for a rental for 2 weeks, AND he missed several days of work, which as a contractor are unpaid days.
So when I see a Festiva, all I can think now is that they are driven by morons. A shame, I bet one at redline is hella fun on those roller skate wheels. A slow car driven fast is btter than a fast car driven slow.
roflcopter
> shop-teacher
08/21/2015 at 10:38 |
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I almost bought a Festiva. If the Volvo I was driving down to look at had fell through I'd decided to pick that up on the way home. I love those things.
Brickman
> shop-teacher
08/21/2015 at 10:50 |
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10/10 would SHO engine swap :D
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shop-teacher
> Brickman
08/21/2015 at 13:01 |
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Shogun!
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shop-teacher
> MonkeePuzzle
08/21/2015 at 13:03 |
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One of my best friend’s mom had one of these as their family car for a few years. She was also “generously proportioned”, and they had three kids. It was quite a thing.
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shop-teacher
> Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
08/21/2015 at 13:05 |
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You’ve gotta enjoy the land of cheap gas and wide open spaces :)
One of my coworkers is Polish. Over the years he has driven a bevy of Caprices, Crown Vics, and Magnums.
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shop-teacher
> roflcopter
08/21/2015 at 13:06 |
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There is something great about cheap throw away cars like these. I just could not advise Steve to buy one that was ready to be thrown away.
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shop-teacher
> Berang
08/21/2015 at 13:07 |
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I always read “No Title” as “Just a little bit stolen”.